I hate farming

This post has nothing to do with agriculture.

Final Fantasy XI is my MMO of choice at the moment. I really enjoy the "team" aspect of the game. Every character needs to do their job or else the entire party fails. It is a tough game, but also rewarding.

In every MMO, Adventurers need money to buy gear (ie armor and weapons.) Money is "harvested" by killing monsters and selling the items they drop. "Farming" is the process of running around in a circle in an area where the monster can't hurt you and beginning to slaughter everything you see. This is one of the most boring tasks to do in any MMO, but also something that must be done.

I pay to farm. I give Square-Enix real money every month so that I can bore myself trying to make virtual money. At the same time, I really don't wish for the digital funds to become easier to obtain because that would screw with the economy. This had happened when there were lots of gold farmers in the early days of FFXI.

I just find it bothersome that I'm thinking about playing a fun game while being bored with what I'm playing. I do see the benefits of farming. I like wearing new gear and buying new weapons. I just wish I could find a way to enjoy the hours it takes to raise enough money.

.... and yes, I have tried playing the two games at the same time. No, it doesn't work well.

Kicked my posterior

I got up as soon as the alarm went off, I moved the chair, I grabbed the weights, and loaded up my workout DVD this morning.

At the end, I was breathing heavy, sweaty and my body felt like jelly. I really hate "Day 1". Technically, there should only be one "Day 1", but when you have quit these things as much as I have you tend to re-live these experiences. I was beat.

The hard part for me is breathing. I have a very mild form of asthma, but it shows up due to physical exercise. Breathing is also key to keeping these exercises going. I'm going to need to put a lot of work (and regular use of my inhaler) to get this down.

The good thing is that my body ached a little after the workout, but it was probably the first time that I felt a "good" ache. One that doesn't really hurt as much as it says, "Hey! Thanks for using me, you!" I'm sure tomorrow morning it might say something different, but we will see.

I don't have the companion disc to the workout for tomorrow so instead I will do exercises that just get my heart rate going. Don't want to stress out my recently used muscles too much.

Workout

I'm going to attempt a workout video tomorrow morning.  I just watched it so I wouldn't be too surprised by what the trainer is going to ask (tell) me to do.  I'm already a little surprised.

Looks to be tough, but also looks like a good way to start the day.

I'm not really scared of the workout because I think that overtime, I'll get really good at it.  I'm afraid that I won't keep with it.  I'm a lot better "armed" this time though.

I have the time set aside to do this.  I'm not having to stop something I would rather do to workout.  I have scheduled time in the morning where it can get done.

Before I end the post, I should also mention that I'm also afraid of being sore... but I don't think there is much I can do about that.

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1. The goal

I, honestly, didn't plan for my last day of numbered posts to end on Memorial Day. It really was a fluke that turned out quite awesome. Anyways, here is the reason for the numbers.

I have a lot of ideas in my head. I have a hard time getting them down on virtual paper. I don't always find the time to sit in front of the computer and start writing. This blog doesn't have a theme which serves the purpose of allowing me to write whatever I feel like. When this space goes empty for long periods of time, my ability to capture my thoughts becomes difficult. I need this blog as a way to "grease the wheels" on my brain.

21 days to form a habit. 21 days ago, I decided that I need to make sure I posted something here everyday, no matter how small or large, important or no. Today is the last day of that exercise. I suppose that starting tomorrow I will find myself saying, "I'm soooooo blogging" that.

I did it!

2. Time Flys

You know it is a good game when you play close to 55 hours and yet it seem like you just started. I was a little shocked to see that my total playtime was so high. While I can't image GTA IV being any near as long as GTA: San Andreas, I'm still impressed.

Good game.

3. What is in the steins?

Seriously, if I could wear pants as tight as the guy on the left is wearing, I would. I can't, so you have nothing to worry about.

4. Jennifer Government

A good friend of mine let me borrow the book, "Jennifer Government" written by Max Berry. I finished it on Thursday on my bus ride. What I'm failing to mention is that I was given this book over a year ago.

I'm debating about the direction of this post. Should I write about how much I enjoyed the characters, plot and the book in general or write about how I should never borrow anything from anyone ever because if I don't "use" the item right away it could possibly fall into my pit of "what-was-that-again"?

Probably the best "review" I can give is to say that I looked up from the book just in time to notice that the bus had stopped at my destination. If I didn't stand up and say "Hold up", I would find myself one block away from where I wanted to be. I was that absorbed in the story.

I'm sure there will be some people who will not take the fact I was so addicted to the story as fact that the book is good. I suppose I need to entice them instead with a brief synopsis of the story. Okay, here it goes:

"In the not-so-distant future, Corporations pretty much run the world. Kids go to McDonald schools, the Police are now a brand and marketing has gotten quite a bit aggressive. The story brings together an interesting cast of characters who all seem to get caught up in a very deadly marketing campaign."

I decided to talk about the book. I'll have to find another time to talk about my borrowing habits.

5. The Black Knight

I watched these guys for quite awhile at the Renaissance Faire. Two "knights" would enter the "arena" (ie twined-off area) and proceed to hit each other with sword-shaped sticks.

Each "fighter" had a great pose stance. They held their sticks swords in what looked like an authentic manner. The combatants would then circle around each other and try to predict the other's next move. Then in a great fervor that only the best 5-year old could do, the two would beginning to hit each other with their weapons. While watching the fight, it made me think of my two cats smacking each other.

I shouldn't make fun. I watched these people for a good 20 minutes and enjoyed myself. That is better then most sitcoms.

6. Pickle delusions

I took this photo at the Renaissance Faire last Saturday. I do enjoy a good pickle and had wanted to get one. I passed, but I was very curious as to what made a pickle a "Thunder Pickle". I started to realize that I've never once had a "homemade" pickle before. While I really wanted to try one I still held firm that I wasn't going to make a purchase. Probably the only reason I stayed my buying hand is because I actually had no cash on me, but whatever. I still didn't buy one.

My niece though wanted one and asked her daddy if she could get one. I went with them to watch the transaction. I asked the man, what makes his pickles so thunderous and he replied, "I do." A great response. I said that I only ask because my niece was interested in getting one. The man reached behind his barrel and pulled out a jar. A commercial sized jar with a big pickle label on the front. It was the same type of jar (that would be filled with pickles) you would find at sub shop. My heart sank.

To the man's credit I didn't actually see any pickles in the jar, but I did see some pickle juice. He could very well have used that jar for something else, sort of like how I bring my lunch into work in a Country Crock tub. Maybe he does make his own pickles, but my gut tells me that isn't true.

I'm not sure why I wanted so badly for him to bring actual homemade pickles, but I did. I also don't know why I took it so hard when I saw they weren't homemade, but I did. It is amazing what presentation can do.

7. Zzzz Fit

I'm lazy.

No, really. I am. This isn't that other part of my brain. I'm seriously a lazy person. I like to sit on the couch rather then actually move.

I'm not proud of this, this isn't me bragging. I pointed it out because it is necessary information for the rest of the post.

I ordered two workout videos from Netflix that I will hopefully get by the end of the week (Amethyst, want to watch some movies tonight?) My schedule has me trying to get up around 4:45 am. As of late, I'm not climbing out of bed until 5:35 am. Almost a full hour of turning the alarm on snooze and then going back to sleep. (Thankfully, I've switched to the radio instead of the actual alarm sound. I now wake up with 3 songs stuck in my head.)

The plan I have would be to crawl out of bed at the first alarm and the do the workout video in my not-so conscious state. How awesome would it be to fully wake-up in the middle of the workout and realize that I'm already halfway through the workout. All I half to worry about is taking my shower and eating breakfast after that. I could then say, “Hello! My-Soon-To-Be-Lazy Day!”

Yes, I do see the major flaw in my plan. The moment I start my first stretch, I will either be awake or asleep on my exercise mat. Right now, sitting down in my comfy chair, the plan sounds golden.

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8. Anxiety attacks

Amethyst and I were driving home from the library and we started talking about money. Amethyst has recently started a career as an artist. Due to her departure from the corporate world, we have had to adhere to a strict budget. We are keeping things very tight, but at the same time we are both very excited that we have the luxury to really give this career change a chance. I really believe in her talent and feel strongly that she will do well for herself.

As I mentioned, we were talking about money and Amethyst mentioned that she thinks back to when we both had jobs and how we basically wasted one of the checks we would get. I got very quiet. The problem with anxiety is that my internal monologue tells me that I'm a failure. I know that I'm not a failure, but I can't stop the thoughts from heading to the forefront of my mind. So, while I know that Amethyst said, "We wasted...", I can't help but think she is saying that, "I wasted...". My wife would never accuse me of such things, it is my own thoughts that accuse me.

In the past, I would become very defensive because I didn't quite know how to deal with my thoughts. I actually believed that people were accusing me of things my brain told me. I would easily self-sabotage many relationships.

Now I realize that I have to separate my own thoughts from what people say. This can be difficult depending on what state of stress I'm in. It is like I have two waring factions in my head. One is telling horrible things that other people think of me and the other part is assuring me of reality. While I completely understand that people are not telling me the horrible things I'm thinking, it still doesn't mean that those thoughts don't take their emotional toll.

The reason I got quiet is because my brain goes into war mode. The first shot is fired when my brain tells me that I failed at being fiscally responsible. I don't want to be viewed as bad person, so I start to feel ashamed and defensive. Then the other side notices the signs and I realize that what I'm thinking is not true and that my wife and I are just talking about money. Money is a tough subject for everyone. Amethyst is not saying anything bad about me. I then start to feel ashamed that I have these thoughts in the first place. I'm killing my marriage by thinking these things. Again, I start to notice the clenched jaw and the eyes itch as signs. I have to tell myself to take a breath and try to realize that everything is actually okay. Due to this inner war, I have a hard time actually contributing to the conversation.

I have chosen to avoid medication if I can. I have nothing against medication or the people who take it, I just already take prescriptions for my diabetes.

This is not written in search of sympathy. It helps me to write these situations out. In some way, it lets me see the moments as they really are.

9. GTA IV

I've played a lot of Grand Theft Auto IV this weekend. I'm really enjoying the game. Actually, I'm hooked because I passed up playing Magic: The Gathering in order to keep playing. Here are a few of my favorites part of the game.

1. I love it when Roman calls me and says, "Cousin, This is your Cousin!"

2. I think my favorite car so far is the PMP-600.

3. Rockstar's version of the internet is awesome.

4. I like the shooting mechanic in this game.

5. I enjoy playing Pool.

I realize that this post seems kind of shallow, but the reason is because I just want to play more GTA IV.

10. Renaissance Faire

I went to the Janesville, WI Renaissance Faire today. If you ask me, I think these Renaissance Faire's should be re-named to Fantasy Faire. I'm not asking for historic accuracy, but there were more time periods then just the Renaissances in attendance. The faire had more in common with Dungeons and Dragons then the actual Renaissances.

Timeline gripe aside, I did have a good time. I enjoyed watching the demonstration of how a surgeon would "heal" the wounded back in ye olde days. It involved mostly wrapping the person up and calling the clergy because the injured was going to die.

The Faire was the first time that I saw so many people dressed in fantasy garb, yet not a single 20-sided die in sight.

11. Gullible

I found an article on Walletpop about a new drink being released called “Meatwater”. The idea is absolutely insane. To my credit, I wasn't focused on the fact that the water tasted like meat. Instead I was paying attention to the fact that the water must be filled with protein. I never did actually visit the website where it becomes a little more clear that this product isn't real.

Of course, is it really a shock that I would have believed it when Jones Soda releases Thanksgiving flavored soda?

12. 411

This morning the first thing I did was check my blood sugar. I need to do this every morning, but it just hasn't become a daily habit. I'm trying to correct that error.

My blood sugar was at 121. That is pretty good. While 100 is better, I'll take 121 since I've usually find myself in the 180-200 range. I continued the rest of my routine in getting ready for the day. I should have gotten up just a bit earlier because I had to start rushing to be at my bus stop by 6:30 am.

It was at 6:31 am that I realized I ran out without taking my Lantus shot. Lantus is insulin that stays in my body for 24 hours. It is there to cover the sugar that my liver produces. I take Humalog to cover the food I eat and Lantus for the sugar my body naturally makes. I don't take all my Lantus at one time, instead I take half in the morning and another half at night. I hate forgetting to take my morning shot. I had to get on the bus though and decided to take some more Humlog to cover the missing Lantus.

I got to work, I ate a bowl of cereal and had a bagel. I factored in that the cereal was 50 grams of carbs and the bagel was going to be around 60. 110 total grams divided by my 7:1 humalog ratio. For every 7 grams of carbs I take 1 unit of insulin. This is my morning ratio while the rest of the day I use a 9:1 ratio. Anyways, I came up with 15 units to inject and added two more for the missing Lantus. I felt pretty good about how much I took.

Two hours later I checked my blood sugar and I was at 411.

I've witness people stick to a goal and lose a lot of weight or people who have quit smoking. I know that bad numbers are going to happen and I just need to deal with how to correct the number rather then focusing on the number itself. I know that I can take good care of myself if I just stick with collecting good data and sharing it with my diabetic educator.

I just wish that the embarrassment, shame, and frustration of high numbers wouldn't effect as much as they do. I realize that when I have higher numbers, I have less control over my anxiety disorder. I find it difficult to see beyond my current blood sugar number and look at the big pictures.

I'm trying though, I'm writing about it. So, thats something.

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13. Want

After having cut back on spending and keeping focused on our budget, I no longer am able to go out and purchase whatever game I happen to desire.  I had a couple gift cards that I saved from Christmas and my birthday to purchase some of the games I knew I wanted.  Most of that money is spoken for, but here is the list of games I want but don't have budgeted.

1. Space Invaders Extreme, PSP - I know that the core gameplay is from a 30 year old game, but honestly the modern upgrade is as beautiful as it is fun.  I've already played the demo for many hours.  I'm sure the main game is just as amazing.  ($20)

2. Penny Arcade: On the Rain-slick Precipice of Darkness, Mac or Xbox 360 - I honestly don't know if I want this game yet or not, but the Penny Arcade brand is hard to ignore.  I love their website, their comics, and even their gaming politics... I really think I would like their game. ($20)

3. Echochrome, PSP - I wasn't all that excited by the demo, but now that I've seen what some of the advanced maps look like I really want to play the game.  It does look like a fun, portable, puzzle game. ($10)

4. Bionic Commando: Rearmed, Xbox 360 - I didn't play much Bionic Commando as a kid, so I'm looking forward to this gorgeous remake.  The trailer looks like a lot of fun. (not sure)

5. Boom Blox, Wii - This game started with negative press and slowly moved its way to being critically praised.  I would like to try the game prior to ever purchasing it, but from all that I've read I can't go wrong with getting this game. ($40)

6. Mario Kart Wii, Wii - I realize that this Mario Kart is not as good as the previous Mario Kart games, but I don't care.  I've always enjoyed Mario Kart and think I would enjoy playing this version as well. ($40)

7. Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Wii - Use the description above, but in all instances you see "Mario Kart" replace it with "Super Smash Brothers" ($40)

There are more, but this is all that is coming to mind at the moment.  How much does a kidney sell for nowadays?

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14. Trek

I was pretty happy when I woke up this morning and realized that I wouldn't have to rush to get on the early bus.  I like the early bus because it allows me to leave work at 3:45 pm.  I don't like the early bus because the early bus is early.  I realize that pictures taken in the direction of the sun don't turn out all that well, but here is my view from my (early) bus stop.

Anyways, my only issue with the early bus is that every so often it arrives at my second bus stop late.  I arrived this morning just in time to see my other bus drive off.  The next bus wouldn't arrive for a half hour.  My options were to wait or find an alternate route.  I found a route that would drop me off about a mile from my workplace.  I decided the weather was nice enough to give it a try.

I arrived at my starting point at 7:15 and started hoofing it to work.  Neko Case was singing in my ears.  It took me about 15 mins to walk the distance which is pretty good for me.  I wasn't out to win any records.  I just wanted to arrive BEFORE the next bus I would have taken arrived.  I beat it by 20 mins.

Along the way, there is a little creek that runs under a bridge.  I stopped on the bridge and pulled out the camera.  It is very cool to walk in a semi-industrial area and still catch this view.


Side Note:  JR!  Ted!  Have fun on your trip!!!!!!!

UPDATE: Fixed the incorrect verb.  Neko Case was singing in my ear... not signing.  Ug?

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Now with pictures!

Here are two pictures I snapped of the TV in our living room.


Yeah, I like the new addition.

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15. Our New TV

Amethyst and I just got a new 51” television. This is the biggest TV I've/We've ever owned. It is big.... really, really big. Our TV can also handle HD, but it is only HDTV Ready. That means that the TV lacks the digital tuner that would be able to intercept and decode a digital signal. Instead, our TV requires external devices to do the decoding.

We currently don't subscribe to cable TV and instead use a good pair of “rabbit ears.” As of February 17, 2009, we can longer use this option due to the forced, digital-broadcast switch. I've started to look at my options as an owner of a HDTV-Ready TV.

1. Subscribe to cable/satellite. I could get the cheapest and most basic option. This will give me just the basic stations I get already, but they would be in HD & no futzing with the rabbit ears. The main reason I want to avoid this is because I don't want to add another subscription-based bill to our collection of subscription-based bills.

2. Buy a Digital Tuner and an HD Antenna. This is the option I'm leaning toward despite the $200 price tag. We could get the local HD channels and not have to pay a cent to any in order to watch them.

3. Buy the Converter Box with the $40 coupon. I wouldn't get to watch my local channels in HD, but I would only be spending around $10-20 for the option to watch TV after February 17, 2009.

4.Buy a new TV. Not likely.

I don't handle change very well. I'm handling this even worse due to the fact that money has to be spent in order to get same 5 channels I've been happy with for years. If only I could get Netflix “On Demand” movies on my TV, then I would truly happy.

16. Audiobooks

I'm a very slow reader. My wife can read a book in a day while the same book will take me 2 weeks to finish. I have the horrible habit of reading and then letting my brain wander. My eyes will continue to look at the words, but my head will not comprehend any of the text. I'll actually “read” a page and half before I realize I have no clue what just happened.

It is a shame really... I do enjoy books.

I have now turned my attention to audiobooks because I can listen while I ride the bus to and from work. I went to the library, picked out my “book” of choice, and listened intently to the speaker. Things were going well until the bus drove past the Cousins Sub Shop and broke me out of my daydream. For the last couple of miles, I had been in my own world while the speaker kept yapping in my ear. Audio didn't fix my focus issue. In fact, in some way it is worse. I'm less compelled to rewind and find the spot I stopped “listening”. I think I'll “figure it out” (which I don't) and become even more lost.

This time, though, I'm going to blame the book. Had the book been more interesting, it would have found a way to keep me focused.

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17. Flocking Media Bar

I've been using Flock exclusively for quite some time now. I love Firefox and Flock IS Firefox, but with built-in social networking tools. I am easily distracted and I actually believe that Flock has kept me updated and updating to Facebook, Twitter and Flickr.

I will stop my Flock love-fest, and instead tell you that I found a bit of an obsession built-in to Flock. I've been addicted to opening the media bar and continually hitting the refresh button on Flickr's recent public photos. I can't stop. I don't know what it is about looking at a bunch of random people's photos, but I find I can do this longer then I care to admit.

When I ordered my first ever ISP and could surf the Internet in the comfort of my own home, my friends and I created the “dot com” game. We would throw out a word and see if www.<insert word here>.com would take us anywhere. It was a fun game way back then, but not as much fun now since pretty much ever word is being “parked” by something. The reason I bring this up is because the media bar in flock also has a “search” function for all the photo and video sites. I do enjoy typing in and random word (like Zagnut) and seeing the results.

Thanks Flock, for murdering my free time.

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18. Shambles

Our place is in Shambles.   Shambles, I tell you!!

We got the big TV moved into our place, and the process went very smooth.  Amethyst and I then went about re-arranging the heavy furniture to make room for the TV and the housing of the all the entertainment accessories.

The after-effects of emptying out a living room (to be able to re-arrange) is that the other rooms become filled.  I can't walk through our hallway kitchen due to drawers, filled with video games, being laid down on the linoleum floor (see pic below).  I can't sit at my computer desk because my Xbox 360 resides in the comfy chair.  The coffee table is holding a lot more then coffee.


So basically, our place looks like my college dorm room... only much bigger.... and 100% more girls in the room.

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19. Moving a TV

Today, Amethyst and I are going to travel across Wisconsin (um... at least however far 2 hours of driving will take us) to my friends place. There we will load up a TV, strap the sucker down (the TV, not my friend), and then return back to our point of origin (of the trip, not our lives.)

I think I'm going to like "New TV Day."

20. Cloverfield

Amethyst and I watched Cloverfield last night.

I think I'm the only person who actually liked the American version of Godzilla starting Ferris Bueller Matthew Broddrick.  I walked into the theater with the intention of seeing a big lizard destroy New York (let it be known, that I have nothing against New York.)  The movie fulfilled my only two wishes. Big Lizard and Downed City.  It was great.

Granted, the story was lame, the characters were two-dimensional, and the little baby Godzillas were a cop-out.  I realize this, but had a good time anyway.  I don't always need my characters to be believable.  I can be impressed with CG.

Once the final credits rolled for Cloverfield, I realized how stupid it is for me to still say,  "I enjoyed Godzilla."  Yes, Cloverfield has made Godzilla even less tolerable.

Horror movies are always more intense, i.e. better,  when the viewer cares about weather the characters live or die.  Despite some, but rare, "flat" dialog, Cloverfield does a great job of establishing a connection between the viewer and the characters.  I  was continually trying to look behind the main focus in order to catch a whiff a danger in some crazy attempt to warn the people on screen.  Epic fail on my part, btw.

I also love that JJ Abrams had fun with the "handy cam" style of shooting.  Seeing clips of what was recorded on the tape prior was simply brilliant.  There are parts of movie where you can't see much of anything because the camera is being pointed somewhere else.  While it can be frustrating, it also makes the events seem that much more "real".

The only complaint I have is that I NEVER get motion-sickness, but I could feel the movie starting to bother my stomach.  It was very slight and never bothered me enough to stop, but I could see someone who gets motion-sickness easily having an issue with watching.

Cloverfield is just another creature-feature flick, but the movie succeeds in taking a tired genre and remixes it to feel "fresh".

Now if I can just get a zombie movie in this style, I'll be happy.

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21. Pistachios.

I love Pistachios.  Thankfully, my wife loves me because she bought a bag of them for me to snack on at work.  While crunching away, I found two nuts that were completely sealed. 



Inside the shell is the treat I desire, but without the proper tools I can't consume them.  I'm desperately looking around at my office accessories trying to find something to crack the casing.  Stapler? Tape dispenser? Name plate?



Ug.

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